Robina’s Blog

7 January, 2021

Buddha’s teachings about impermanence and change are vast, but the best way to get the essence of them and use them as a wake-up call so as not to waste our life is to think about the impermanence of death – our own death.

The first thing to think about is that death is definite. Intellectually, we know it, but emotionally we cling instinctively to a strong to sense of our being permanent, unchanging. We live in denial of death.  

Everything is impermanent. There’s not a single thing in the existence of the universe that is a product of cause and effect that doesn’t change. Things are in the nature of change. In fact the subtle level of impermanence is the very coming into being of something implies the passing away of it. You can’t have one without the other.

Living people and dying people

When we hear about somebody dying, our first response is, “Oh no! But I just talked to them yesterday!” We assume permanence! As Lama Zopa Rinpoche says, we think of ourselves and others as “living” people. She was a living person, how could she have died?” We’re shocked. 

But if Aunty Mary is in the hospital, “Oh, she’s a dying person.” Look how we talk about dying people, in hushed tones. We look at them sadly, “Oh, how are you Aunty Mary?” We talk about her only in relation to her dyingness; she’s no longer a real person, is she? She’s a dying person. 

But as Lama Zopa says: “Living people die before dying people every day!” 

So, how to think? When we hear about someone dying, think: “Wow, Buddha is right. Death is definite.” But to make it real, then think: “That will happen to me.”

The time of death is not definite

Even though we do factor in death to some extent – we have life insurance, pensions – still, even if we’re old, we haven’t scheduled death in, have we? “Well, next week is the dentist, and the week after that is death.” Or even five years’ time. We can plan vacations even in five years, but we don’t schedule death. No way, because even though we do know we will die, that death is definite, we don’t like to think about when. Why? Because I still feel like a living person. How can I be dying next week? Not possible. I am a living person. 

Look at the way we talk; it’s an indicator of our misconceptions. “Oh I feel so alive!” Well, excuse me, happy people die! Healthy people die! Even young people die. 

And we keep adjusting what we mean by young and old, don’t we? I mean, when I was 40, 60 was old. Now I’m 76, 90 is old. We can’t stand to think that we’re in the old category – it’s getting too close to death! Dying people are over there, old people are over there, because we have this deep instinct of grasping at a real living me. 

Best to think I’ll die today

We’ve got to face reality. But that sounds rather cruel. “What do you mean: ‘Face reality?’” We think fantasies are nice. Well, Buddha says fantasies get us into big trouble. It’s a fantasy to think I won’t die. 

Not because he’s trying to be cruel and sort of rub our noses in death. He’s being practical. Given that our consciousness is a continuity that didn’t begin at the time of conception and won’t end at death; and given that everything we say, do and think will leave seeds in the mind that will produce my future experiences, including future lives, then it just makes a lot of sense that death is an extremely important moment in our life that we need become familiar with.

It’s a transition from this body to another body. We should be used to it, as we’ve done it a million times, the Buddha says. But we’re not mentally used to it because we’re clinging so powerfully to this present one.

Lama Zopa says, if you really want to get the wake-up call, best to think, “I will die today.” That would galvanise us into action immediately!

How to prepare

The crux of the matter is this. At the time of death, at the moment when this consciousness leaves this body, what is important? What is useful to me in that moment? What will be useful to that consciousness that will leave this body and take another body, according to Buddha; what will be useful? 

That’s not the way we think of death now. We think of death as the end, that we’ll fall into a big black hole; or that no one knows what happens. 

We should think about death from the point of view of this consciousness moving forward to another body, another house; you’ve got to go to another house soon. Clearly, the more attached you are to this house, the more painful it is to move. 

If we never think about death, our own, the definiteness of it, the uncertainty of the time of it, then death will be a very scary time. 

So we need to prepare for this inevitable event, especially if we don’t know how to do it. I mean, we prepare in the most elaborate ways for the smallest things that are going to happen in the future. Like your driving test. You don’t just say, “Oh, when I get to the driving test I’ll manage it then.” Don’t be ridiculous! You’ve got to train now, it’s obvious. 

How to prepare?

And how do you prepare for death? It doesn’t mean you’ve got to imagine the scenario, although that’s helpful. You’re not preparing for death by thinking about the event itself. You’re preparing for death by knowing about impermanence now. How do you prepare for your driving test? By learning to drive now. 

So, conclusion: given Buddha’s assertion that this consciousness of mine didn’t begin at conception and goes back and back and back, and that it will not end at death, will continue just naturally; given that whatever I have said, done, and thought in this life, and in infinite previous ones, necessarily leaves seeds in my mind that ripen in the future as my own experiences; and given that negative seeds will ripen as suffering and positive seeds will ripen as my happiness – given all this, it follows logically that at time of death the only thing that is of any use to me is the positive seeds in my mind. That’s it. 

Start practicing now

When we realize we could die at any moment, everything changes. Because we know it’s all in our own hands, we will naturally want to live a good life, not harm others, do a bit of practice every day, sow all the right seeds. 

And we can more easily give up attachment and anger and all the other fears, as well as our beloveds, our possessions and the rest. We become more easygoing.

When death comes I will be ready, I will be prepared. When it comes I’m not shocked. I’m prepared because I’ve lived my life well. As Lama Zopa Rinpoche says in his How to Face Death Without Fear, we will die with a happy mind. In fact, death will be joyful.