In the presentation of Buddha’s teachings in the lam-rim, one of the first contemplations is on the reality of impermanenence, in particular the impermenance of oneself: I will die.
The first of the three points to contemplate is that death is definite. Although it’s something we intellectually know – whoever comes into being necessarily dies. Death is definite. Intellectually, we know it; but emotionally we cling to a strong to sense of our being permanent, unchanging.
There’s not a single thing in the existence of the universe that is a product of cause and effect that doesn’t change. The very nature of cause and effect is that it changes. In fact, the subtle level of impermanence is: the very coming into being of something implies the passing away of it. You can’t have one without the other. You can’t have anything that exists that is within the process of cause and effect that doesn’t change. Come and go. Come and go.
Okay, death is definite. How you contemplate this, how you think about this? When we hear about somebody dying, our first response is, “Oh!” We’re so shocked. “But I just talked to them yesterday!” That thought is coming from the misconception that somehow instinctively we thought that they were alive, you know. As long as we think, Lama Zopa Rinpoche says, we think, “I am a living person, I’m a living person.
Aunty Mary in the hospital: “Oh, she’s a dying person.” Look how we talk about dying people, in hushed tones. We look at them sadly, “Oh, how are you, Aunty Mary?” We talk about Aunty Mary only in relationship to her dyingness, the sickness; she’s no longer a real person, is she? She’s a dying person. You don’t even want to include her in parties. Think about it. And this is because we have this misconception that somehow this dyingness is something that defines her, whereas livingness defines me. I mean, what a joke! As Lama Zopa says: “Excuse me, living people die before dying people every day!” You see my point? I mean it’s so clear. But we have this misconception and we dump that onto people.
Death is definite and it’s something that is just natural. When we hear that Mary died, it’s no surprise, it reminds us. That’s the way to think about it. “Wow, Buddha is right. Death is definite, there’s nothing certain. Wow, look at that.” And the key thing to think is, “That will happen to me.”
The time of death is uncertain
The second point, getting closer to home now, is that the time of death is not certain. Even though we do factor in death to some extent – we have life insurance and things like this, pensions; and we read all about old people. We know we’re going to be that eventually – if we’re not already old people. Still, even if we’re old, we haven’t scheduled death in, have we? “Well next week is the dentist, and the week after that is death.” Or even five years’ time. We can plan vacations even in five years, but we don’t schedule death. No way, because even though we do know we will die, that death is definite, we don’t like to think of the time of death as uncertain. Why? Because I still feel like a living person. How can I be dying next week? Not possible. I feel alive.
Look at the way we talk; it’s an indicator of our misconceptions. “Oh I feel so alive,” we’ll say. Meaning we feel very good. Well excuse me, happy people die. You understand? Healthy people die. We might think, “Well, I’m not going to die yet. I’m not old.” But young people die. And you keep adjusting that, don’t you?
Of course I won’t die today!
Now even more instinctively, of course, we’re going to say, “Of course I won’t die today. Tomorrow? Of course not. Next week? No, come on, don’t be ridiculous!” There is a story about a Tibetan astrologer who had done his own chart and it showed that he was going to die today. He sat there thinking, “Where did I make a mistake?” He was totally convinced he was wrong. So while he was trying to work out where he had made the mistake, he was playing with a pokey thing in his ear, sitting by the window with one of those wooden shutters, and the wind made the shutter bang against his hand and the pokey thing penetrated his ear and he died – something like that! But the immediate impulse was, “Of course it’s a mistake. How can I die today?”
Lama Zopa says, “Best to think, ‘I will die today.’” If you really want to practice, best to think, “I will die today.” Because then you will be energized not to waste this precious life, not to waste this opportunity.
At the time of death what is useful?
This third point is that at the time of death what is it useful to me? Well, given Buddha’s assertion that this consciousness of mine didn’t begin at conception and goes back and back and back, and that it will not end at death, will continue just naturally; and given that whatever I have said, done, and thought in this life and in infinite previous ones necessarily leaves seeds in my mind that just don’t disappear, that they will ripen in the future as one’s own experiences; and given that negative states of mind necessarily leave seeds in my mind that will ripen as suffering and positive seeds will ripen as happiness; and given that I don’t want suffering and do want happiness, then, finally, it follows logically, doesn’t it, that at the time of death the only things that are of any use to me are the positive seeds in my mind. That’s it. The body, my possessions, my family, my pension plan, my job, my repuation – gone like a dream. All there is is my mind.
Conclusion: start practicing now
If that’s true, then I had better prepare now by living my life in a reasonable way: by stopping harming others, which create the cause for my future suffering, and removing the negative seeds that I have already planted and by developing the positive ones. This is reasonable, based on these assumptions. At the time of death, when it comes, I must be ready, I have to be prepared. And the way to be prepared is by having thought about it and by continuing to move on the path and practice. The main point here to realize at the time of death is the things that really are of benefit to me are my virtuous imprints. The negative ones are worse than useless: they will ripen as suffering.
At the time of death all the things we spend your life thinking are important and are sustaining and upholding us are of no use. They crumble. There’s nothing. We all say at the time of death you can’t take it with you, it’s a very profound statement actually, but we kind of treat it like a joke.
What does this mean? We don’t have to be fundamentalist about it and chuck out the husband, and chuck out the kids, and chuck out the reputation, and chuck out our money; no, no, no. Just change the way you see them. Change your attitude towards them. That’s the real point, that’s what practice is. Give up attachment to the house, the family, the body; give up the jealousy, the fear, the neuroses, the blaming. Because those imprints in our mind will be there when we die and we do not want those. But we do want our virtue and kindness and generosity and patience and non-attachment seeds.
As Lama Zopa Rinpoche says in his new book out now from Wisdom, How to Face Death without Fear, the karmic seeds that determine our next life are triggered before we stop breathing. Rinpoche says that that’s the time that our loved ones need us most, to help them navigate the death process to ensure that they die with a happy mind, because that is the condition that enables a virtuous seed to be triggered, which is what causes a happy human rebirth. By our being ready for death, we can then help others.