QUESTION
Dearest Robina:
It’s been a long time since I wrote to you but luckily I’ve been on your Zooms lately for Getting Ready for Death followed by Developing Equanimity.
After 2021 when I traveled around the globe while still being in my house listening to your Zooms, they kept me sane during Covid and taught me how to deal with situations with less of a knee jerk reaction or “Why me?” or feeling it was all too late for me.
I had a really big learning experience recently. I’ve been volunteering my services for a while at a place. The manager and I got along really well but out of the blue, it seems, he became really nasty, shouting at me, telling other managers he did not like me, etc. I did not understand why this change, and nor did anyone else! One day, as I was walking into the office, he even raised his hand to me!
People said he is just really busy and really angry. He had been my friend previously!
Then I came home and cried myself to sleep every night. Couldn’t work it out and couldn’t let it go.
Then I attended one of your talks on Zoom and I was starting to feel a bit better and then you started to discuss how karma works. I know about karma, of course, but never thought too deeply about it. But this time it made sense: that all the good and all the bad that happens to us is not just random, that it’s the fruit of our own virtue and nonvirtue; that we’re our own creators.
It was a light bulb moment for me – no blame, no need to go over it all again and again asking, “Why was he angry with me? Why doesn’t he like me?” and the rest. I can see that it hugely helps us take responsibility for not only our own thoughts and feelings but even for what happens to us. Your explanation was so so helpful!
So now back to “nearly” normal me!
Love and thanks,
S
ANSWER
Well, S: what a story! Amazing!
I think if we don’t understand cause and effect from the past, karma in other words, we all go crazy. Because there is no logical reason on the face of it why this guy would suddenly be mean to you.
No wonder we suffer so badly in our lives. They say that the bodhisattvas have such compassion for us sentient beings for this very reason: that we don’t understand that we create our own happiness and we create our own suffering: that we’re living out this dream in which our past actions ripen as our various experiences.
It’s good to remember, as above, that that also means the good things. But we tend to take those for granted; we don’t care if there’s a cause — just give me more, please!
I always joke, but it’s true, I’ve never yet had anyone ask the question, “Why do good things happen?” Only ever the bad!
So, wow, S, what a learning. You’re admirable!
Much love,
Robina