Question: If I see someone I don’t know with a terrible headache, I’m not going to rush to help, but if I see my daughter with the same level of suffering, then I want to help.
Answer: That’s right. So what’s the point about that?
Question: What I’m trying to say is there are unlimited beings but limited energy.
Answer: Oh, but, honey, why have we got limited energy? Because we’ve got attachment, aversion and ignorance. That’s the whole point here, where we’re discussing the bodhisattva path – which is a ridiculously high level of practice. We’re looking at how to go beyond those.
Of course, it’s a long time off for us, but we’ve got to start somewhere. All we’re saying is Buddha’s saying it’s possible, and the steps to get there are all logically laid out.
It’s so powerful to read and think about the people who are already like this – to see living examples of them.
Some of you might know Lama Zopa Rinpoche – he happens to be one of my main teachers, and they asked me after he died a couple of years ago to write his obituary.
So I wrote it – it’s a eulogy, you know? I mean, of course, I know about Rinpoche, blah blah blah, but trying to write objectively in a simple way about his qualities was not easy.
What became so evident was that he had no attachment, no aversion, and no ego-grasping – and that’s impossible for us to imagine! We can say it, but when you see the behavior up close and hear the stories up close, you realize it’s possible.
I interviewed Ven. Roger, who had been Lama Zopa’s attendant since like 1986, okay? He said that when he first had the job of being the attendant, he didn’t know what his job was – he didn’t know what the job description was, you know? So he thought he’d take the lead from Rinpoche himself, you know, like what time he goes to bed, and what time he wants his meals, the normal things that a person who is an assistant would learn.
An assistant gets to know what the boss needs, you understand, I’m just talking ordinary terms: they want this, they like their coffee this way, they go to bed this time, they do this, they do that. You learn to know what their needs are, and you’re a good assistant if you do that.
“Well,” Ven. Roger said, “Lama Zopa didn’t have any needs!” He kept waiting for the signs – nothing!
Rinpoche never slept. When he sat on his bed, he sat cross-legged, he never stretched his legs out, he never even lay down! He never, ever asked for anything for himself: if you didn’t give him a cup of tea, he wouldn’t have a cup of tea, if you didn’t give him lunch, he wouldn’t take lunch.
If someone knocked on his door, he would welcome them. I heard about how at Kopan a person climbed through Rinpoche’s window at 3 in the morning! He would welcome them as if it’s the most normal thing on the planet: “Come on in.” Or he’d be having his lunch, and if you walked in, he’d welcome you.
He never seemed to show that he had needs that weren’t involved in helping other people. He didn’t go around like a drama queen: “Oh, what can I do for you? Oh, let me heal your headache.” No! But whatever came to him, he’d deal with that. And he never slept – can you imagine that! Ven. Roger said that, for Rinpoche, “sleep was a disgusting waste of time.”
The first couple of years, you know, Ven. Roger said it was like he had no reference point. So he tried to do whatever Rinpoche needed – which meant hardly ever sleeping himself. Rinpoche would do teachings and then he’d have his lunch at midnight, he’d be up all night working, writing letters to students, dealing with center business.
At any given point, he had like a folder of 2,000 letters. He never showed any anxiety. When we are slightly overworked, we have mental breakdowns, anxiety about not getting our jobs done. He’s got a folder of 2,000 letters, people needing help, and he might spend weeks on one letter!
Rinpoche had asked me to put together all his letters to prisoners into a book. One guy got a letter of 40 typed pages! It must have taken him weeks just to answer that one guy. For whatever reason, Rinpoche saw that was beneficial, and so he gave him his total attention.
Everything Rinpoche did, it was for others. If you were there with him, you were the person who totally existed for him, and he would serve your needs right there, and he never seemed to be disturbed. Nothing would ever disturb his mind: he never went up and he never went down. He never expressed needs. In our culture that’s mental illness!
It seems hard to imagine this, and even as I’m saying it I think, “Come on, give me a break!” But this is the behavior of a person who has completed this path, who doesn’t have attachment, doesn’t have anger, doesn’t have ignorance or any of the delusions, and therefore, of course, has realized emptiness, and has full-blown bodhichitta, which means every living being is the most important person for him. I mean, way to go! Please, one step at a time! Are we communicating?
In our culture this is the behavior of a crazy person – they’re not normal, that’s not normal.
We need to understand it intellectually first, understand theoretically what it means: first the wisdom wing: do the four noble truths, understand the mind, look at what Buddha means by delusion, look what he means by virtue. It’s not just wishy-washy bleh, you know – it’s clear technical, step-by-step logic. I’m not joking.
Therefore you can’t be that way overnight, dear: these techniques are to help us get there – that’s the point! It’s long term, you’ve got to understand that.
And if you’re inspired to want to do it, then go one baby step at a time – long way to go, but it’s okay. Start where we are, each step of the way, you know?