QUESTION
Good evening.
I am hoping you can help me. I am riddled with anxiety and worry and it is starting to cripple me. I go to bed scared, I wake up drained and then put all my energy into everyone else.
I feel like I have a true calling and I was put on earth for a reason but something is blocked.
I need some help and direction. I feel like running away and hiding for a few months. I don’t have thoughts of leaving this world but I do feel very very down.
Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated. I would love to learn about Buddhism as I am a very open and spiritual person but I just get told I’m mad and I should conform more.
Yours hoping.
L
ANSWER
Dearest L,
I’m happy to hear from you. And I’m so so sorry you’re struggling at the moment.
In order to advise you, I need to know a little bit more. What do you do with your life? Do you have family and friends? Do you work? Do you feel you are doing the right things and are with the right people?
Let me know your thoughts.
Love to you,
Robina
QUESTION
Hi Robina
I am so so grateful for you reaching out. Wow where do I start? Short version is that I am 40, on my fourth marriage, which actually seems like the best one, and I have children and grandchildren.
I’m excellent at giving advice and terrible at taking it! I’m riddled with anxiety but I feel like I have a deep meaningful relationship with Mother Earth. I care about everyone and everything in it. Sometimes I feel like a sponge soaking up everyone’s sadness but not leaving space for me.
That’s the short version. I really would be so grateful for some help. I don’t want to go down the medicine route, I just need people to understand me.
Many many thanks,
L
ANSWER
Happy to hear your thoughts, L.
I think the key thing you said is “I just need people to understand me.” This is our deepest attachment! All of us! But it’s so deep we really don’t notice it.
Easy to say, but we need to come to terms with who we are and learn to be content with that. We need to totally accept and understand ourselves! Needing other people to hear us, approve of us — everyone is like this to one degree or another — is our worst suffering. It paralyzes us.
And who are these people whose approval we crave? They’re just like you and me — they too are craving other people’s approval, and so it goes on.
You seem strong and clear to me. You have a big heart. You know what you’re doing.
Whether you find a good therapist to talk to, to help you unpack your thoughts and feelings, or whether you find a spiritual path such as Buddhism, which helps us learn to know our own minds, to be our own therapist, as Lama Yeshe puts it – whichever way you go, have confidence in your potential to change, in your own goodness. You have plenty of it, I’d say!
What do you think? Let’s discuss.
Love,
Robina
QUESTION
Hi Robina
This email came through when I was trying to flee an airport after another anxiety attack! It actually got me on the plane. 🙏
Thank you for the advice: I will try to follow it.
L xx