Because everything’s impermanent, including our mind, there’s no action, there’s no karma, there’s no seed in our mind that we have left there by thinking and doing and saying things – that’s the process of creating karma – there’s no seed that’s still there that we can’t purify.
Okay, if the seed is about to ripen in one minute, a bit late maybe, but you never know. In general, the seeds in our mind, left there by our past thoughts, actions and words, can be enhanced, can be strengthened, or can be removed, and it’s up to us.
Well, initially, not removed – that happens when we’ve realized emptiness; but at least weakened.
This is where the four opponent powers come in, and the four Rs are a really easy, easy way to remember them: regret, reliance, remedy, and resolve.
As Lama Yeshe says, “We create negativity with our mind, and so we can change it, purify it, by creating positivity with our mind.”
It’s so interesting: we start off with this feeling, “Oh, I’m so bad!” so I’d better purify. Yet even after going through the process of regretting the bad things, relying on the Buddha and having compassion for those we’ve harmed, doing the visualization and then thinking, “I’ll never do it again” – basically putting atomic bombs under all those negative seeds! – we still think, “Oh, that bad me is still there”!
This is because we grasp at ourselves and at negativity as having an intrinsic nature, but it’s kind of completely bizarre. It’s like thinking you’ve been playing the piano for the last five years, really practicing well, really counteracting all your mistakes and practicing beautifully, but you still keep remembering that bad thing you did five years ago when you played the wrong note in that concert, and you still feel guilty, as if your five years of practice have made no difference: “I’m still this bad person who didn’t play that right note.”
That’s how ego-grasping works, and it’s just completely ridiculous, it’s meaningless, it’s nonsense, it’s just irrelevant, because the millisecond you think anything, that counteracts other things: all the time, it’s this constant process.
The whole point of purification is consciously, consciously acknowledging the dumb things we’ve done that have harmed others, which then harm us, and then regretting them: this is like compassion for ourselves: “I did do that dumb thing. I can’t believe I did that dumb thing. I can’t believe I did that thing then because I didn’t know any better, whatever it might have been – killing, stealing – whatever it is, whatever it is, I did do it.” You acknowledge it to yourself.
Regret’s this brave attitude of acknowledging, “I did do it.” And it’s not guilt. One of the commonest things is we think it’s guilt. We say, “Oh, I did this and I did that and I did this,” and then we say, “and I’m a bad person.” This is very instinctive – it doesn’t immediately go away; we’ve got to notice it.
Or we also think regret means, “I shouldn’t have done that.” That’s a meaningless statement. What do you mean you shouldn’t have? That’s what your mother says when she’s angry: “You shouldn’t have done that!” It’s an absolutely useless statement because the thing has already happened.
Regretting is acknowledging with courage: “I did do that and I didn’t know any better; it was out of ignorance.” And then the attitude is “I regret that” – and this is the point – “because I don’t want the future suffering.” Regret is compassion for yourself – it’s got nothing to do with compassion for others yet. It’s literally compassion for yourself. When we cultivate that view, so much changes, you know? It’s brave, it’s grown up.
Guilt, on the other hand, is taking no responsibility whatsoever. We love guilt, we swim in guilt, and it’s very instinctive: it’s a function of the root delusion, ego-grasping. It’s that feeling we have of, “I’m bad,” and it’s totally, utterly useless.
We have to consciously change the concepts, and regret is a powerful first step, it’s the door into the process of change. As Lama Zopa says, regret is the first step – without this, you can’t go further. You’ve got to acknowledge what you did.
The second step is reliance, two parts. The first is: you think, “Well, whom can I turn to? Where’s the doctor?” And that’s our relationship with the Buddha: he’s our doctor. He is not our creator, therefore he is not our punisher or our rewarder, which is how we think of God. It’s not like that at all, it’s completely different.
If I’m a good Christian, I would regret what I’ve done, but then I would beg God to forgive me: that’s how you get purified as a Christian. Well, Buddha would forgive you – he’s a nice person – but that’s not the point. It’s like asking your doctor to forgive you for eating sugar, and then she can stop you getting diabetes. We would laugh at that – that’s not her role.
Buddha’s the same, he’s like a doctor: he gives you the methods and then you heal your own diabetes. You are the one who heals yourself, not the Buddha. You rely upon the Buddha.
You can have the best doctor on the planet – you will adore and love your doctor – but they’re the one who gives you the method and you’re the one who does the work. This is incredibly important to understand.
The second part of the second step, reliance, is now you have compassion for those you harmed. They always use this analogy: that the ground that you fall down on is the very ground you rely upon to stand up again. That comes second, but you’ve got to have compassion for yourself first – that’s regret; then you have compassion for those you’ve harmed; you must purify for their sake as well.
The third step is the remedy. One particular practice is the visualization of Vajrasattva, the Buddha, and then the recitation of the mantra, and the imagining of the purification, imagining you’re purifying every atom.
Because we’re visualizing Buddha purifying us we tend to think that he’s doing the purifying. No. Visualization is your mind thinking something: the power and the confidence of that process is what purifies: you are purifying yourself.
You’ve got to think about that: it’s nothing mysterious; there’s nothing out there doing it. You’re visualizing Buddha, but it’s your mind doing it. Nobody else can purify you. When your friend stops eating sugar, you don’t stop getting diabetes. You’ve got to stop eating sugar.
So, you regret, you take refuge and have compassion, and you apply the remedy. And then the fourth step, you resolve to change. If you can say, “I will never kill again, never lie again,” if you’ve taken those vows, then this is what you resolve to do. But if you can’t say, “I’ll never badmouth my boyfriend again” – that would be ridiculous, don’t lie to yourself – maybe you give yourself a timeline: I won’t badmouth my boyfriend for twenty-four hours. This is the fourth step, resolve. Pabongka Rinpoche says this fourth step is the most important.
Purification is a psychological process of taking responsibility: having compassion for yourself, turning to the Buddha, your doctor, having compassion for others, doing the visualization, imagining purifying, and vowing to change. It’s a really radical psychological practice: it’s your mind doing it.
As Lama Yeshe says, “Your mind” – as I said before – “It’s your mind that creates negativity, so you purify it with your mind by creating positivity.” Your mind does it – that’s the thing.
And as Lama Zopa says, “We’re insane not to do this every day, not to end the day with this practice.” It’s like cleaning up your mess, you know? You’re being your own friend. That’s how I think about this practice: you’re being your own friend.