Buddha talks about different kinds of suffering. The first kind – and this is a different way to put it – is when attachment doesn’t get the nice things, when it gets the ugly things. That we know: the lousy food, the pain in the knee, the mean husband, being abused, having no money. We understand this. Buddha gives us his analysis of what that suffering is, where it comes from, and then how to stop it. That’s the grossest level of suffering: it’s usually called the suffering of suffering.
The second level of suffering is really hard to see, but we can do the analysis, and it’s all based on understanding attachment. It’s when attachment does get what it wants – which is what we call happiness!
But Buddha calls it the suffering of change.
So there we are wanting to be happy – you’re like everybody else, join the universe, you want to be happy – and we all naturally assume that getting the cake and getting the boyfriend is the method to get happy. And you’re right – some happiness definitely comes.
So why does Buddha call it suffering? Some happiness does come, but what he shows is that it doesn’t last: as you continue to eat the cake, expecting happy feelings to increase, instead they diminish and before you know it you’ve got a stuffed stomach and very unhappy feelings!
We know this is true, it’s fact, we have to really think about this – but we just don’t join the dots, you know?
Attachment is multi-faceted. First, there you are feeling dissatisfied, this emotional hunger, something’s missing. And then you go, “What can I do? What can I have? And then you go, “Oh, let’s go out for a meal!”
Then the next level of attachment kicks in and you start to anticipate, you get all excited, and supported by all the other parts of the mind – intention, concentration, mindfulness – you ring up your friend, choose the restaurant, organize to meet. One of the best things about getting delicious objects is the anticipation, isn’t it? It’s so exciting! That’s attachment!
Full of anticipation, you get to the restaurant, get the table, get the menu, order your meal. You can’t wait! But when yours comes, now you start looking at what other people are eating, and now it’s, “Oh, I should have ordered that one! Mine’s so small!” Already dissatisfied again! Or it’s just what you wanted and it looks totally divine!
All the dissatisfaction, emotional hunger, anticipation, then of course the purpose of the entire exercise is to get the food in the mouth – not the ear! Or you don’t just sit and look at it, you know? You’ve got to get the food in the mouth, we know that.
So it gets in the mouth, and now this is where we have to pay super attention to our mind: we have to learn to distinguish between attachment and pleasant feeling. This is huge, and we never think like this. They’re different states of mind.
Pleasure is not attachment. As Lama Yeshe says, “The more pleasure the better, dear!”
What happens is this: attachment’s there, in the anticipating, you know, the waiting, the excitement: it can’t wait to get the pleasant feeling – attachment totally believes that when I get that food, a feeling of pleasure will come.
And it does: a feeling of pleasure definitely comes. So where’s the problem?
What happens is you put the food in the mouth – the cake, the vegetable, the noodle, the piece of whatever it is – and it does, in fact, trigger pleasant feelings in your sensory consciousnesses – the tongue consciousness, certainly; the smell maybe as well; maybe even the visual, maybe the cooks made it look beautiful – those three senses are satisfied. The tactile consciousness probably not, you don’t touch it too much, it just gets messy, you understand me?
The senses are experiencing pleasure, they are experiencing pleasure: pleasure, pleasant feelings, happy feelings: they’re all the same meaning. So why is it called suffering?
The pleasure comes, and then this is what happens – and this is the heartbreak: as the pleasure comes, right there attachment – as it’s happening – attachment’s saying, “Sorry, not enough pleasure, Robina, have another mouthful please!” Dissatisfaction again!
So we try again. Put in another mouthful, hoping that this time the pleasure will come and stay, because the first moment of pleasure wasn’t enough. But it’s downhill from there – with each mouthful the yearning for satisfaction, the craving for pleasure, is thwarted until eventually there is only suffering, the suffering of a full stomach.
At the end, with the stuffed stomach, the messy gravy on the plate – how does it look? Revolting! You look at the people receiving their delicious meals, and how do they look now? Revolting!
As Lama Zopa Rinpoche points out: the pleasure that comes from attachment can’t grow, it can only diminish. Which means it changes from pleasure to suffering. And attachment can only lead to aversion. This is the nightmare of samsaric suffering! Are we communicating?
So how do we get happiness? How do we get pleasant feelings that don’t diminish, that do grow? What’s the method? By practicing virtue, goodness, and giving up attachment. The pleasure from that can grow limitlessly!