The benefit of vows

  We don’t like the sound of vows: we feel as if someone is forcing us into a corner, or that vows squash us down, or that we’ll get punished when we’re naughty and break them.   But if we think about it, when we learn to do anything,...

We can become our own person

  Loneliness is this feeling that we don’t have anyone to talk to, no one to share our experiences with. Even more fundamentally it’s not having anyone to validate us, support our thoughts and our feelings, love us, approve of us, to tell us we’re okay....

We’re not set in stone

  One scientist a few years ago said that neuroplasticity “is the greatest finding of the twentieth century.” I’m glad we’re catching up with the Buddha who’s been telling us this for quite a while!   If we could have confidence in this, it’d radically...

Arrogance and low self-esteem: flip sides of the same coin

  If we’re accused of being arrogant, it’s not very comfortable, is it? “No!” we think. “I don’t have pride. I have low self-esteem.”   We all have low self-esteem. In fact, His Holiness the Dalai Lama when he heard about the extent of low self-esteem in our...

What is anger and what isn’t it?

  A perfect question. And the perfect answer, which I heard from a lama, is: “Anger is the response when attachment doesn’t get what it wants.” But what is it not?   Anger is not physical. Anger is part of our mind, and our mind is not physical. It...