QUESTION
Dear Venerable,
I hope you’re well.
In Pabongka Rinpoche’s Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand, in the seven cause-and-effect instructions for developing bodhichitta, in talking about the fourth point, “love that comes from the power of attraction,” he makes a distinction between this love and the love that wishes all beings to be happy. I’m unsure about the love that comes from the power of attraction. Maybe if it were worded different it would make sense. Do you understand what he means by this kind of love?
Much love,
V
ANSWER
I’m not sure Pabongka Rinpoche is describing two kinds of love.
I suppose what he means by “the power of attraction” is simply what people feel when they are close to some (of course, for normal people that for sure includes attachment): you find them very appealing.
But then he says to conclude with the thoughts, “How wonderful if all sentient beings had happiness! May they have it!” – that’s love: wanting them to be happy. And then he adds the stronger one — “I will make this happen!” — that’s “great love,” if you like, similar to great compassion (which is referred to as altruism in Wisdom’s book): “I will make it happen.”
That’s my take on it.
R
QUESTION
Dear Venerable,
Thank you.
That makes sense to me.
Pabongka Rinpoche mentions that love through power of attraction and love that wishes to be happy are not distinct but they do differ.
Love through the power of attraction is a result of the three previous stages, recognizing all beings as mother, etc., and is a direct precursor to compassion.
Love that wishes others to be happy, and compassion (wishing others not to suffer) do not have such a fixed cause-and-effect relationship, according to Rinpoche.
This feels like a very important point: nearly all humans have this inbuilt propensity to love at least those close to them without even trying. Mothers, even women who were once mean, become loving toward their child. This is a building block for compassion and most of us including me aren’t even aware of it.
Much love,
V
ANSWER
Yes, V: I think you’re right.
But remember the main reason it’s easy “to love at least those close to them without even trying” is because there’s attachment. It’s very, very, very hard to have this for those we have no attachment for.
And, in terms of the three poisons – ignorance, attachment, and aversion, which us ordinary beings all have – the people we don’t have attachment for fall into two categories: those we have aversion for (so-called enemies) and those we couldn’t care less about (strangers). When attachment is not there, the only other options are these two: enemy or stranger.
Look at mothers who have aversion for their children: it’s very, very hard for them to be loving and kind and patient. Even when there is attachment, look how difficult it is!
That’s why the very first practice in the development of bodhichitta is the development of equanimity: recognizing that everyone wants to be happy. Once that’s clear in our minds, we can begin to want everyone to be happy – not just those who do what our attachment wants.
As Lama Zopa Rinpoche says, right now our love is unstable; or, as we’d put it, it’s got strings attached to it.
Rx
QUESTION
Dear Venerable, yes I agree with you.