QUESTION
Hello, Venerable Robina!
I was wondering: if a person is an alcoholic, if they die in that kind of state, do they have any chance for a good rebirth? Or does that hungry-ghost-like state they’re in become an immediate cause for the effect that is a rebirth in the hungry ghost realm?
ANSWER
Dearest A:
According to Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s teachings, dying as an alcoholic is a heavy way to die; and it’s most unlikely that they’d get a human rebirth.
At the time of death it’s crucial that the person is peaceful, which allows a virtuous karmic seed to be triggered that determines the next life.
In Rinpoche’s book about how to help at the time of death, he mentions that people who work with the dying say that alcoholics have the most suffering at the time of death – which indicates that it’s difficult for their mind to be peaceful.
So if we’re going to help that person at the time of death, it’s important to let them hear mantras, for example, to keep them peaceful, and to hope that helps them die peacefully.
Love,
Robina
QUESTION
My mother came to visit me recently. For the whole period she was here, she drank from morning until evening. I have never ever seen her in such a state – I hadn’t seen her for years and I was shocked. She is such a good person, so talented. I cannot understand how she doesn’t seem to realize what she’s doing to herself.
I fear for her life – and her next life – and don’t know what to do, because it doesn’t really depend on me, it depends on her. I spoke to her husband, begging him to take care of her. I spoke directly to her, but I cannot force her to change.
Can I please have your advice, Venerable?
ANSWER
I understand exactly, A. So so painful.
You have done everything in your power to help, there’s no doubt.
It’s clear, isn’t it, that we must never give up only wanting to help others be happy (that’s called love) and only wanting to help them stop suffering (that’s called compassion), but our ability to do so is depending on them. So be careful about judging your success or lack of it based on her inability to change.
You can pray to the buddhas to guide her, protect her — she might have some meritorious karmic imprint in her mind that could be activated.
Let’s hope at least that your words to her husband helped. And, actually, I’m sure your words to your mother have to have done something. . .
I will pray, too.
Much love,
Robina