QUESTION
Hello dear friend.
I hope your trip and teachings are going well.
I have some questions regarding Lama Yeshe’s teachings on mahamudra. Maybe I need to listen to the book again, to get deeper understanding?
I’ve been reflecting on emptiness and my new relationship with existence. After we discussed the idea of karma – that I should be thanking my own past hard work for all my blessings and achievements, not “the universe”! – initially I was quite shocked, as I mentioned. Then I started to feel so empowered by this, although still unsteady in this new space.
Thinking more about emptiness and impermanence, now all I’m feeling is profound sadness and despair. I find myself ruminating on the futility of it all. I’m really struggling with the idea of impermanence and mortality. What is the purpose of it all? What should I do with my life? I find it difficult to look forward to the future, or have any desires…
Is this normal? I am certain I missed the whole point of the teachings, as they are designed to release us from suffering. I’m having the opposite effect.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and any advice.
Much love
G
ANSWER
Dearest G:
I think what you’re experiencing is good. You’re starting to see that everything really is impermanent, that life could end at any moment; and, even more, that there’s no intrinsic nature in things; and that this primordial attachment within us is a bit hollow in its fantasies.
First of all, this shock of discovering that you’re not the recipient of good luck and bad luck but that you’re the creator of your own experiences — this has had a tremendous impact on you: perfect!
And then there’s this understanding that life is fragile: the only reason this is a shock is because deep in the bones of our being is the assumption that everything’s permanent and solid.
So your comfortable ground is being shaken! Wonderful!
But there’s no need to fall into nihilism. In other words, just because things aren’t set in stone, doesn’t mean they don’t exist at all, that’s there’s no meaning to life at all. It’s a nuanced point.
So what to do?
In a sense, you don’t need to change anything external; no need to give up anything. Keep doing what you’re doing: helping people as you are already in your profession; keep playing your sport, keep living your life.
So what has to change? Your mind, your attitude, the motivation that drives why you do all this every day. Without realizing, we’re mainly driven by attachment, by the need to succeed, to be seen to succeed, etc. It’s hard to see, but it’s there.
But giving up attachment doesn’t mean giving up wanting anything at all. No! Want things, aspire for things, but from a different place in the mind. Want to do what you do so that it all helps you grow yourself as a person, and so that you can be of use to others. And at the same time contemplate that it’s all not as solid as we thought, that it all passes.
As you settle into this new awareness, life actually becomes more precious, not less. There’ll be less anxiety, more joy as well.
As we discussed, the opposite of discovering impermanence, karma, etc. isn’t nihilism — “Oh well, what’s the point!” No! It’s that life is indeed worthwhile, that every second counts.
So: given that our mind has come from the past and continues moment by moment and will go into the future; and given that everything we think and do and say is the very process that produces the person we become; and given that we want happiness and joy and don’t want suffering — given all this, we will just naturally only want to program our mind with wisdom and clarity and empathy and the rest.
So, dear one: keep reading Lama Yeshe and these other holy beings who’ve experienced the truth of all this, and be inspirated by them: that you too can become like that.
What do you think?
Much love!
Robina
QUESTION
My dear Robina.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. It’s definitely been a spiritual shake up. I’m in the storm right now for sure. But it does feel like a tremendous growth spurt. I really hope this is growing pains and not me sinking deeper into madness and illusion.
One step at a time!
I hope your trip is going well. Your teachings mean so much to so many people. Can’t wait to see and speak with you again.
All my love
G
ANSWER
Well done, dearest G.
Keep moving, never give up!
Much love,
Robina