QUESTION
Hello Venerable Robina,
Recently I took the vow not to drink and I am happy to report that I went bar hopping for my birthday with family and friends and did not have a drop of alcohol. I had a wonderful time without having to drink anything.
My wife gets upset with me because I am not drinking anymore like I used to. I think she feels bad because she is the only one drinking and we used to do it all the time together.
Her drinking causes us to get into arguments. Things have settled down, but occasionally, she has one too many, and I tell her I can’t have meaningful conversations with her when she is in that state.
With big love,
B
ANSWER
Dear B,
Good to hear from you.
As for the alcohol: well done! You can see the benefit of the vow, can’t you?
By the way, your wife’s drinking might cause her to “get into arguments,” but it’s your anger that causes you to do so! So go easy on your wife: don’t point out her faults to her, don’t criticize her. And let her drink: that’s her decision. It’s important you don’t act all superior and make her feel bad.
Tell her you are glad she enjoys her drink! And you can drink non-alcoholic drinks with her.
Be kind, please!
Love,
Robina