QUESTION
Good morning Venerable Robina Courtin,
I hope you are doing well! I’ll keep this short and sweet because I assume you are busy.
I attended your recent talk and I asked what advice you had for people whose karma regarding their practice changes and you invited me to email you. You also talked about vows.
I noticed that I have a “push & pull” relationship with my practice this past year. I’ve been passionate about the Dharma for a couple of years, but then I pulled away and decided I wanted to just live my life and live it authentically with how my karma guided me.
In September, I found the Buddhist spark again and have been slowly dabbling back into it. When you talked about vows, my heart sank a bit. I can see myself taking vows at some point in the future, but I feel that I won’t keep them, or that I will lose the motivation. My heart feels guarded when suggested to take vows, like it is too soon and that my heart is not open enough to serve in a vow-like way. That it would be too much of a step.
With that, I would love to hear your thoughts or any guidance you can offer. I enjoyed speaking with you at the Buddhist Teachings Event and feel like I can learn a lot from you.
Thank you in advance!
J
ANSWER
Dearest J,
Happy to hear from you! Thank you for explaining things.
As for vows: they’re simply a way of strengthening our determination.
I mentioned, remember: when you decide to drive a car, you need to vow to refrain from so many things! You do this happily, because that’s the way to become a better car driver. They’re not punitive — that’s how we think about vows! They’re practical.
But of course you don’t need to take them! If and when you want to commit yourself to your Buddhist practice, then you can decide. You’re the boss!
If you would like to discuss your practice, I’m more than happy to do that.
Love to you,
Robina
QUESTION
Hi Venerable Robina Courtin,
Thank you for getting back to me!
I do consider vows, especially this year, I’ve been thinking more about it. Sometimes I think, “Why not? Let me make my life better, let me make everything (the ripple effect of vows) better.” But then I think of the commitment and the actions needed to take, and I hesitate. I hesitate because I feel quite negative sometimes, and the practice wouldn’t be as genuine in those moments.
I also don’t want to risk giving up or not following through on vows when my karma shifts and I don’t feel as passionate about it, or like it’s not going to help.
I would love to hear guidance or recommendations for how someone knows when to get them and with who. Or if you have any advice for feeling “stuck” with the practice.
Sending love your way!
Thank you,
J
ANSWER
Dear J,
A vow is a conscious decision to refrain from doing or saying something that will cause us suffering, such as not killing, not stealing, etc.
It’s like deciding to refrain from eating sugar because you don’t want diabetes.
The thought of not wanting the suffering is what energizes us.
And it’s training ourselves: it’s practice, one step at a time.
And having vows in our mindstream means that 24 hours a day we are ticking over virtuous karmic seeds and purifying negative ones. Fantastic!
And the people we decide to take refuge with, vows, etc., are the ones we respect, we consider as teachers. That’s our decision.
Love to you,
Robina
QUESTION
Good morning Venerable Robina Courtin,
I love your comparison to sugar and diabetes. That makes a lot of sense, thank you for that.
I’ve learned there that you can take vows with any teacher, but I personally would love to take them with a heart teacher, which I don’t have yet.
I so appreciate you reading and responding to my emails.
Sending love,
J
ANSWER
For sure, J, we would take vows etc. from people we have chosen as our teachers.
About vows: I think in our culture of religions that posit a creator, we can’t help but hear the Buddhist teachings about vows and ethics and so on in the same: as something punitive, someone telling us what to do, and if we don’t do it we get punished.
That view is very deep in our bones!
But it’s not like that. The sugar example is the best one: it’s for our own benefit.
Anyway, J, don’t worry about all that. The key thing is to practice at your own pace. Read the teachings, think about them, go sometimes to hear teachings, do a bit of practice every day.
Keep moving, one step at a time. Keep practicing, keep studying.
What do you think?
Love to you,
Robina
QUESTION
Good morning Robina,
I appreciated your confirmation in the importance of having a heart teacher.
I’ve actually had a conversation with a friend recently about a similar topic, how we don’t want to feel pushed to follow the “rules” of what to do to follow the faith (for any faith).
You are like my wise friends! The ones who have told me multiple times to practice at my own pace. That it’s a lifelong thing, I don’t have to rush or pressure myself.
And I think I agree. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t remember karma and emptiness.
I see it when I feel in love with my partner. I see it when I get frustrated with my partner. I see it when the bus arrives as soon as I get to the bus stop. I see it when I slip on ice and fully fall on my way to the bus stop.
I do agree that it’s a personal practice, and I can see myself taking vows with a heart teacher I’m meant to have.
Sending love,
J