The Dalai Lama often says, “Always aspire to do what is most beneficial”. But how to decide what is beneficial? And does that mean beneficial for me or for others?
Well, it seems to me that it can mean both. For example, I’ve always been moved by people who are inspired to do a job that helps others: a nurse, a teacher, etc. But look at the benefit to oneself: it’s huge. And that’s perfect.
But when I was young and finding my way in the world, I never thought that way. I wanted to accomplish things! Make things happen! That could sound really self-centred, but if what you want to accomplish can help others in the end, that’s also perfect.
There are so many ways to find satisfaction, to fulfil our own potential, and to benefit others as well. And both are necessary, as expressed in that Buddhist saying I like to quote that “a bird needs two wings: wisdom and compassion”. The wisdom wing is the work we do on ourselves: finding out what we’re good at, what we really want to do, and then on the basis of that being able to accomplish the compassion wing: help others.
Some activities are in their nature beneficial: the helping professions, for example. But others, like making money or being an accountant, a lawyer or a manager, seem to have no intrinsic value: it’s a question of how you use these skills. You could be a great accountant but every moment of your hard work for a gunmaker, say, ends up harming others.
Money can be poison if used to fulfil greed. But it’s an amazing tool if used to help others. For years I ran a non-profit in the US and in Australia, which helped people in prison who wanted to practice a spiritual path. I couldn’t have done any of it if I hadn’t received money from others.
The motivation behind our choices is the point, finally. Even an intrinsically “good” job – one that helps others – done for the wrong reasons ends up helping no one. A mother who feels forced into motherhood gets no satisfaction and can even harm her child. A waiter who doesn’t enjoy his job ends up not serving happily.
Whatever we choose, we need to start with the courage to really want to do what is most beneficial. And to think that doesn’t mean we have to know the answer yet.
“Everything exists on the tip of the wish” is another lovely Tibetan saying, and it has such meaning. We need to have the thought, the wish, the intention, expressed daily like a prayer – “May I do what is most beneficial”. It guides us along our path, our road in life.
It can be scary because we often can’t see where we’re heading. But that aspiration keeps us on track. It’s like we’re walking along a road – and it’s the right road: it’s our own very life – and we haven’t got a clue where the turn-off is. But that’s okay. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other, dealing with whatever’s in front of us, doing it well, always with the aspiration to do what is most beneficial.
And when the turn-off comes, we will recognize it, and it will be the most beneficial thing, even if it’s the tough choice.