How to deal with my anger?

May 20, 2024

QUESTION

Dear Ven. Robina:

I am easily angered by what someone might say or do. My ego comes out a lot at the injustice that happens either to me or others.

Then I find it hard to let it go.

I am on the path and this upsets me. I think I have many lifetimes before I become enlightened!

Could you please give me some strategies that I might be able to use to deal with my anger?

Many thanks,

M

ANSWER

Yes, dear M, I understand: anger is difficult to deal withan old habit!

One of the things to remember is that anger is one thing, in the mind; then there’s the speech that shouts out the anger — the speech is what causes so many problems and is what harms others.

So, when you’re with others, try to control the speech. And then when you’re on your own, you can work with your mind.

This is why a good morning practice is helpful: you train your mind to focus, getting into the habit of stepping back from all the crazy thoughts. Then when you go back to your life, you can practice catching the thoughts before they come out of the mouth as fully-blown emotion.

And another practice is to say mantras, if you like them. The mantra of compassion is good. You can say it whenever you like, but especially before you get angry: that can help. Or afterwards to help you calm down.

Slowly, slowly, M!

And rejoice in your progress as well. I’m sure you’re doing your best.

Love to you, and much courage!

Robina

QUESTION

Thank you, I will do my best to try and follow your advice.

Actually, I love chanting Om mani padme hum. I find it very easy to chant it on the way to work. It feels like meditation because nothing else comes to mind when I am doing it.

I know I should do more meditation on my breath, but I can’t concentrate well.

Love,

M

ANSWER

Dearest M:

It’s excellent that you find benefit from saying the mantra! So good!

And don’t worry about watching your breath. Saying the mantra is a million times more beneficial than that!

It purifies your mind of anger and negativity, develops the habit of compassion, and connects you with the buddhas.

So keep doing it!

QUESTION

Wow! That’s great to know!

Love,

M

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