We don’t need to be great philosophers to see that everything around us functions in dependence upon everything else. If we start to think more deeply it’s evident that we can’t isolate anything; there’s nothing that doesn’t rely upon something else for its existence. The implications of this are vast, but as long as this totally natural law keeps working, as long as everything is going smoothly, we simply take it all for granted; in fact, we probably don’t even think about it.
It’s only when things don’t work that we start to wonder what went wrong – in the world at large, in our own relationships, and, crucially, in our own very self.
In the Buddhist literature there are masses of teachings and instructions on this point; it’s not just some vague mystical notion. It’s all used as the basis of the logical analysis that the great yogis – present and past – involve themselves in to gain a coherent understanding of it, which serves, in turn as the basis of their ability to go deep into their minds at the subtlest level, in the disciplined practice of meditation, to gain experiential knowledge of it. And why? Because the experience of interdependence finally cuts the roots of ego and brings liberation. Literally. These are not clichés; these are the experiences of all those who’ve accomplished it.
And what is the result of this “liberation”? The recognition of our natural state of perfection, of goodness, of utter connectedness with others, which brings, just naturally, spontaneous love and compassion and the effortless ability to help others.
Not being in touch with this natural state causes us to cling primordially to a very solid, concrete sense of a self that has zero to do with interdependence, with reality. Just look at how we feel when the voices of ego – the depression, the jealousy, the low-self esteem, the anger – predominate! This is the proof that we think we’re separate little beings, not interdependent at all: bereft, lonely, small, unseen.
And look how things become all around us, at work, at home, in our relationships when these neuroses are dominant: a mess! All these separate, lonely, fractured selves fighting for space! So sad.
But look at how we feel when love, contentment, compassion, and generosity, for example, predominate. There’s a profound sense of connectedness, isn’t there? Our sense of self has expanded, even a little, even for a moment, to encompass others.
And look how things around us appear now: harmonious, peaceful, joyful. This should encourage us to find methods to sustain this experience of natural interdependence.
We know these experiences intimately, but we take it all for granted. We utterly believe that the neuroses are at the core of our being, and when they’re really strong we truly believe that they actually define us. And, of course, we believe that it’s everyone else’s fault; it’s not my fault: that’s the biggest belief of ego!
And it’s because these assumptions are deep in the bones of our being that we need to work hard at unpacking them, deconstructing them, and gradually connecting with our true self: spacious, interconnected, forgiving, fearless.
The fact is, the natural state of things is interdependence. No one made it that way. “Thusness”, as the Buddhists would say: the way things are
It is the way it is, but we have to know it, experience it. We have to practise, of course, using the tried-and-tested methods; it’s not some hit-and-miss affair. The methods are all there, at least in the Buddhist tradition. And we can see that so much of this wisdom has filtered down to us in many guises, including into our modern psychology.
Buddha would be delighted: he’s happy to share!