QUESTION
Dear Venerable Robina
In response to reading your June 1, 2026 Q & A: “How can I alleviate anxiety over past mistakes and insecurity about the future?” I have a question for you please. Even if we recognize that the problem is attachment, it’s difficult to drop the anxiety… How do you suggest we deal with that?
Much love,
K
ANSWER
Dear K
To solve any problem, we identify it clearly: the problem informs the solution.
Attachment is the deepest most primordial problem, and everyone in the universe has it: uncontrolled thoughts, either all excited and upbeat or worried and anxious: both functions of attachment.
The most direct solution to uncontrolled thoughts is to learn to control them, and that’s the job of single-pointed concentration. To get results, of course, takes tremendous effort: going to an isolated place and working on it for several years.
But based on knowing this is just the way the mind is, we can have a disciplined practice of concentration meditation to start the day. The main benefit won’t be concentration, but it’ll be an ability to notice the thoughts in day-to-day life more and more clearly: this is crucial.
Then we need to learn to hear them properly, identify which thoughts they are – attachment, anger, jealousy, etc. – and then to argue with them, counteract them. They’re all based on being conceptual thoughts.
Along with this job we can then begin to lessen our belief in these thoughts, because they’re exaggerations, distortions, not accurate assessments of reality.
Another approach and technically easier is to consciously, intentionally have positive thoughts; they’re conceptual thoughts, too, and they’re more accurate, so we learn to believe them instead.
Of course, in Tibetan Buddhism, there’s huge emphasis on other practices to support this day-to-day job of working on our mind: purification, mantras, prayers, etc., etc.
These practices encourage us, connect us with the holy beings, the buddhas. This is all related to devotion. I can’t imagine being a Buddhist without all that.
What do you think?
Robina
QUESTION
Thank you, Venerable Robina. I have been doing shamatha meditation for many years but have not really succeeded in noticing the thoughts and lessening their intensity.
In order to develop positive thoughts to counteract fear and anxiety, would one just say, “This is going to turn around,” or “Things are going to be okay”? Are these generic “positive thoughts”?
ANSWER
List a few of the anxious thoughts, K: what do they say? Then I can answer your question.
Love,
Robina
QUESTION
What if my business collapses because of AI? What if I need to find a new job? What if I land into financial issues since I haven’t built my pension? I also feel overwhelmed because I am shouldering the whole business, my partner can’t contribute because of her health so I feel an awful lot of responsibility on my shoulders… I would love for someone else to take over and I step back, but that’s not feasible.
ANSWER
The trouble is, K, as we know, these thoughts are packed with fear and emotion and it’s hard to be rational. But that’s really what practice is: hearing the thoughts, and answering them, or arguing with them.
The fact of the matter is that, yes, exactly, these things might well happen: the business might collapse; you might have to get a new job. So facing that fact, looking it in the eye, will already make it not so bad. Because the next step will then be to make a plan.
The suffering you’re experiencing right now is not so much from the fact that these things will happen, more from the fear about them happening.
Solution? Look the problems in the eye, come up with some ways to mitigate things, and do your best. Try to be optimistic. Because when we’re full of fear, we’re blind, we can’t see what to do. But if you try to stay optimistic, your mind is more flexible, you can see possibilities.
Keep moving!
Robina
QUESTION
Thank you, Venerable Robina.