QUESTION
Dearest Ven. Robina,
I thought I had my anxiety under control – but it came roaring up again after Mr. Trump was elected!
And, as I’ve told you, my father loves him. He didn’t honor my explicit request to take it to his grave if he voted for him again – I realize he won’t change so I just protect my karma and remain respectful. I can’t make his problem my problem. I’m just a loving child.
I’m doing my best with it through supplements, diet, tonglen, and media discipline.
What do you advise besides this?
Many thanks,
L
ANSWER
Dearest L,
Glad to hear from you!
I understand your anxiety! So good that you’re using “supplements, diet, and media discipline.”
But, as always, let’s interpret it using the Buddhist approach.
Basically it’s aversion; and aversion — anything from mild annoyance to intense anger — is the response when attachment doesn’t get what it wants.
So try to get to the root of it: attachment. Easy word to say, but so so so hard to recognize the depth and breadth of it.
The obvious objects of our emotional hunger — that’s what attachment is — are the objects of the senses. But the deeper level — and this is where political views come into play — is attachment to things being the way we want them.
Attachment is like a fragile child that just can’t stand, can’t cope with, can’t bear anything that isn’t what it wants, and the second it manifests, the panic attack of anxiety/aversion arises.
And what underpins this attachment is the primordial feeling of dissatisfaction: not having enough, not being enough. And this is what brings the overt manifestation of the emotional hunger.
The practice of dealing with attachment is ongoing. But one very direct approach to the aversion/anxiety that arises when it doesn’t get what it wants is to welcome that very thing — even just hearing about Mr. Trump, for example: look it in the eye! Greet it, don’t resist it!
It sounds simple, but it’s profound. If we look the thing in the eye, it dissipates, and the fear calms. Not kidding!
You seem to be doing just this with your father: well done! So, keep practicing!
Love to you,
Robina