Always waiting for something to change is attachment.

Mar 28, 2022

QUESTION

Dear Robina,

 

It has been so long since I contacted you. I should consider this a positive thing, that I have found ways to cope and to practice that benefit our situation.

 

It has always been at my most desperate that I have reached out to you.

 

Probably the biggest difficulty I face is that my partner’s chosen work pattern is not secure. I feel their work choices are slowly squeezing us financially. 

 

I worry that my compliance with it all will leave me ten years down the track wondering if I should have done things differently. If I should have moved us all sooner, forced a move. Or do I just keep plodding along? I am finding my feet in a new job and am generally finding that this could be a very steady and good place to base myself.

 

The Dharma is so far away from here. My family is far away too. Maybe that too is something I should learn to just sit with. Instead of constantly feeling like I need to make a radical change, a risk that could still leave me unsatisfied.

 

As Lama Zopa Rinpoche and His Holiness teach us, it is those people we struggle with the most that are our best teachers. 

 

I feel everything slipping away from me.

 

Please I ask for your guidance.

 

Thank you so much, dear Robina. You have been an anchor for my heart at some key moments in my life.

 

Much love,

L

 

 

ANSWER

Dearest L,

 

Happy to hear from you.

 

You say that you “feel that everything is slipping away” from you. That’s quite strong!

 

I’m trying to understand what’s going on for you. I understand that you miss your family. I also understand that you like your job, that you’re helping people.

 

Clearly the main problem you have is with your partner. That has to be at the heart of it — but it can’t just be that they’re not earning enough. 

 

What’s going on, L?

 

Love,

Robina

 

QUESTION

Thanks dear Robina, for taking the time with me.

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